Wednesday, February 24, 2010

when you lose someone you love


new york city, february 2010


Traveling alone is the hardest thing I've ever done. On my way to New York, I woke up with the worse feeling that some may or may not understand. Going home from New York was even worse. I literally cried in the plane. Partly because since my Dad passed away, traveling has never been the same. The joy I get whenever I'm at the airport is now somber. I used to love airports but now I'm reminded of the last time I saw my dad alive. Plane rides aren't the same anymore. Waking up in the plane next to complete strangers and not seeing him next to me (I usually sat next to him while my brother was with my mom) brought me to an all time low, I vowed to myself to never fly alone again. I guess it's because traveling was the only thing we did as a family and the one thing my parents were looking forward to every year. Now, I'm going to miss the family trips we used to take. I'm going to miss having a shoulder to sleep on the plane, the late night bus rides to the province, the animals we used to play with, the waterfalls we used to swim under, the beaches we swam in, the luaus we went to, the hassles of getting a passport, the predictable dinners and lunches at the malls, the daily morning breakfast my dad buys me, the shopping we used to do and even the taxi and jeepney rides we used to take while overseas...

Dad, it's been only a year and half since you've been gone and life still hasn't gone back to normal but know that I'm trying my best! I miss you and I love you so much.

♥ kat

ps
the photo above is one of my favorite photos from my New York trip. My Dad would of loved it too :)

9 comments:

KIRAFASHION said...

I love NY!

bear said...

nyc <3s u.

Jasmine said...

kat! i'm so sorry for your loss<3 i'm sure your dad is so proud of you wherever he may be :) that shot of new york is gorgeous!!!

Jasmine said...

oh and kat! you're in the LA area right? since we didn't get to talk much in new york, maybe we could meet one day? :) like a double-date in santa monica or something? you and your bf's anniversary is so close to mine and my bf's (11 days!) hehe!

Release Karma said...

I've sat here staring at the empty comment box for about 10 minutes thinking of something meaningful to say. And I still have nothing.

This post has probably gotten the most emotional response from me than any other.

I hope New York was good to you.

Sara said...

Oh, I visited that place few years ago, when I went to NYC, it was the best trip in my hole life :)
Nice blog!
See you!

Jules said...

Sorry to hear about your dad. I feel for your loss. Hope everything will be ok and good to you. Do your best to overcome all your pains, i'm sure your dad won't love to see you suffer from what happen. May god bless you and your family.

Jules
Soloden.Com
The Brown Mestizo

Erin said...

I just happened upon your blog and I love it! Have been reading through all your posts and they're all so fashionable...will defintily be back!

Love love love,

Erin

xx

katherinelou said...

kirafashion: i love new york also!

bear: aww thanks :)

jasmine: yes can't wait to hang out soon!

release karma: new york was very good to me despite my crazy emotions :)

sara: new york is one of my favorite places in the world!

jules: thank you. now that you put it that way, i'll try my best to do better!

erin: aww thank you!