overwhelmed

...especially the last two semesters or should I say, the last eight months of my life. Sure, I'll take the blame and say its partly my fault, partly not but pretty much the contributing factor of my lack of motivation to do anything well in school that brought this "overwhelming feeling" in my life is because of the passing of my Dad. I know, I know I can't always use that as an excuse but it's true. Every single day of my life I thought about how much different my life would be if he would still be here. How much happier my whole family will be but what can you do. Life throws curve balls at you and you just got to try your best.

But back to school, I really lack serious motivation. My mind is constantly distracted trying to find other means to fill I guess the part of me that is missing but I always fail cause that part missing will always be voided. The more I try to fill it, the more I get distracted and the more I tell myself that it can never be filled. I guess if that makes any sense at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really really REALLY miss my dad and I can't keep playing "what if" games anymore. Next semester, I promise I'll do better.

Just reread this entry. I sure don't make any sense but whatever.

♥kat